When I started blogging

the idea was that I would blog things that I was learning. Pretty soon, like day two of being a mom, it became overwhelmingly evident that there was no way I would be able to keep up with the new things I learn every day. But just for kicks, here are some more recent ones.

1. When toddlers say "watch it", it sounds suspiciously like a phrase they should not have heard referring to a male cow and its excrement. You know the one.

2. Baby puke shows up particularly well on navy blue. Keegan prefers brand spanking new out of the dryer navy blue, but right before walking out of the house navy blue works too.

3. Sometimes the talk about boy parts and girl parts comes after your little girl tries to kiss your baby boy's "ouchie" in his diaper. You know the one. Am I winning mother of the year yet, or are you call Child Services on me?

4. Toddlers have an innate sense of how to act "too cool". Sophie will cry and cry for someone until she see's them, then will promptly act like they don't even exist. Like "Oh, it's you. ". It reminds me of Seinfeld... "Hello, Newman."

5. Infants will chew on anyone's shoes. They rock the shoe fetish category.

6. There is no freakin' way to keep up with the growth of kid's fingernails. It's like they chug miracle grow through their Bob the Builder cup. And they are inevitably dirty, too. Nice.

7. Toddlers are hard core. When they want to swing, they don't mean in a few minutes. When they want a cheeseburger, they don't want to wait until we get to the golden arches. When they want to read a story, they don't give a crap if you are holding another child in your arms. "Now, woman!" is the attitude they employ, which ends badly for everyone involved as I don't respond well to being called woman.

8. Having your kids share a room is tricky when they both wake up in the night crying. When I say "is tricky" here, you can read sucks bad.

9. Whatever you order your toddler to eat, they will only want what you have, even if it is EXACTLY THE SAME.

10. Being a mom is by far the hardest and best job ever. Period. Hands down.