Hives, Holiday and Happy New Year
I hope that you all have had a restful holiday season. I don't have any Christmas pictures to post but I have a good reason, I promise.
It started with the dog. Our poor Isaac needs a buddy since Bosley ran away. I had gone to the humane society on the 23rd to look at a shar-pei that they had there. He was, umm... active. That's a nice way to put it. Not to be put off, I then looked at a pointer mix. He was.... active. Then I looked at what looked to be a massive shih tzu. He looked like he had been on enhancement drugs, which is really just a nice way to say he looked like a shih tzu on massive amounts of steroids. If I had brought him home his name would have been Barry "Asterisk" Bonds. Let's just say that grooming was going to be an issue, so I passed, though he was fun. Then I looked at a beagle mix named Grant. Grant was a good dog. He was laid back, soft and perhaps most important, house trained. So Grant came home with us.
I swear I'm getting to why I don't have Christmas pictures. Just stay with me.
I got Grant home and started to settle in when I noticed that Sophie had a big welty thing on her face. Then I noticed that my face itched. And it got worse, and worse, and worse. Then the swelling started. I wish we had taken a picture but we didn't. My face was like a big, red marshmallow with little slits for eyes. Sophie's wasn't so bad, but she did have several welts on her face. So obviously something with the dog isn't jiving with me and the Sos-ter. I don't know what it was, I am not allergic to dogs, except apparently Grant. So Grant went back at the shelter on the 24th. I am sure he will be adopted soon, he is a great dog for someone else, just not for us.
Meanwhile, back at home, I am sitting there strung out on mega-steroids and antihistamines. Huge amounts. It reduced the swelling and my brain function in equal parts. I woke up on Christmas Eve, the day we did our Christmas with the kids, totally and completely stoned out of my mind. My emotions were so shut down that I couldn't even get excited. But on we went, Keegan in Jacob's lap and Sophie playing Santa on the floor. I was on the floor taking pictures, trying to get into the Christmas spirit.
Notice I said I took pictures.
I didn't look at these pictures until later when I got to Mom's house. I had borrowed her camera because the batteries on mine were dead.
Remember how I said that Jacob was sitting with K-man in his lap. Well he was wearing his bathrobe. And every picture I took had Jacob in it, at least part of him. With his legs spread open and his underwear showing. In Every. Single. Picture. It was like a merry porno Christmas. Nice.
By that evening the drugs were wearing off and the rest of the Christmas I was more human. Christmas day Keegan broke out in a funky rash, and then for the next week or so was consumed by screeching, grouchy, inconsolable Keegan. He had some good patches in there, but for the most part was just a clingy mess. It turns out he had a reaction to his vaccinations. Merry Christmas. He slept through every gift exchange though, so while he didn't get to open many presents on his own, at least he wasn't screaming while everyone else did.
My s-i-l had her baby on Christmas Eve, congratulations Ruth! Mr. Tobin was 7 pounds and 3 ounces, 20 inches long and I am by far his favorite aunt.
The kids did lots of funny stuff the last few weeks, but this post is already forever long so I'll bust it all out in the next few days.
3 comments:
"It was like a merry porno Christmas"
i almost peed in my pants. really.
That's tooooo funny!
I was so glad to know he had underwear on!
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