Bedtime Battles
Every night Sophie and I have a routine. Daddy goes to work, and it's time for Sos to go to bed. She knows this. She even tells me... "Daddy work, Hosie bed". You would think that with this knowledge the rest of our routine would be easy, and it's not bad, until we get to the BED part. We brush our teeth, read our Bible story, say our prayers, read one more story, turn on the music and get in bed.
The trouble is that once the last story is done it's a continuous stream of one more. One more story, one more Bible, one more prayer, one more chance to go potty, on and on. Or the demands to sleep in Momma's bed. Wailing and gnashing of teeth ensue. Tempers flair, tears stream and every night I leave my child in her bed screaming "Mommy, tum here! Tum here Mommy!".
Her little cries hurt this momma's heart. I try to be as consistent as I can, but I am at a complete loss at how to ease our bedtime woes. Thus I turn to you, many of you are mothers who have older children than mine. I am quite sure I am not the only one to experience this and I would love your advice.Right now she is still in her room crying, and I am here feeling like a troll for letting her cry. But, I know that she is truly tired and that in a bit she will calm down and fall asleep, and then and only then can I go cover her up and kiss her goodnight.
Help. Please. Anyone.
6 comments:
Man, that's tough! I feel for you, Andie! We have a similar bedtime routine, but usually don't have too many issues. One thing that helps my DS (he's only a few months older than Sophie) is to do a lot himself. You might already do this, but he turns out his light, he puts his books away, he blows out the candle, etc. Heaven help us if WE do it, haha. Regarding wanting one more book, etc. just be firm. DS tries that now and then, but we just keep repeating that it's bedtime.
Also, I know you might now like this or have it work for you, but one of us lays down with him until he falls asleep. Not only that, but he falls asleep with his arms wrapped around mom or dad's neck. We co-slept when he was a baby and this is what's left. It's taken a long time to get to that point, and it only after the birth of our second child (end of July) that anyone but myself could put him to bed! (Funny, but now I'm a little jealous DH can do it. It's nice to be needed!) Knowing how developmentally normal it is for a child this age to need help falling asleep, I wonder if a modified version of this would work. Maybe sit and rub her back for a few minutes? Then gradually reduce the time as you and Sophie can. I know this is tough with a second baby, but if Keegan is already sleeping you could give it a shot. It's another chance for you to have a little one-on-one time with Sophie too! I know I really appreciate it with my DS and I know he loves it too. A great chance to reconnect after a busy day juggling two (especially when mama's patience wears thin).
Forgot to add-- hugs and prayers, mama! You're doing great.
Andi,
I had this same problem with Beth and I wish I had some great advice for you. We did the routine like you, and everything was fine until lights out. When we moved her to a "big girl bed" she would keep getting up after we tucked her in. Very frustrating! I know it's difficult, but keep being consistent. Maybe talk about it to her during the day "when I leave your room tonight I want you to go to sleep." (or something like that) Do you play music or Bible stories in her room? That helped Beth to give her something to listen to -- especially a story.
I hope this helps. Hang in there!
I have been there and it is tough. But the you are doing the best thing you can do for her.
Keep up the routine but maybe at the end give her a choice. Tell her you can read one more book or snuggle with mommy for 5 minutes. If she chooses snuggle make sure you set a timer of some kind (kitchen timer) so she knows time is up.
That way she feels like she got some control over the situation but that she still needs to go to bed.
Most of all good luck! Thankfully these stages usually pass pretty quickly.
I have no advice, just wanted to let you know that I am thinking of you!
You should watch Supernanny for her going to bed routine. It works. I think she has a book out too.
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