An Eventful Morning
I never pray for patience. When you pray for patience, God seems to think that a practical, hands on lesson is needed, and it usually means you are in for a very bad day. Some days though, even without the prayer, we get dealt those days anyway. So my day so far has been - eventful. Not bad per say, but eventful.
So here it is, how to have an "eventful" morning.
It starts off with your daughter pooping through her diaper, through her pajamas and onto the sheets of the bed. Yay! Then you move straight on to Mamaw's house so that Dad could go to sleep. But when you get there, Mamaw is nowhere to be found! No big deal, you'll just hang out and play. But first, a little snack. So she chews your boob to death eats, then the real fun begins.
First, the Sniper Puke, where all is well and she is nuzzling your shoulder and you are thinking that you are just about the luckiest person in the earth to have such an angel and she, with no warning at all, hurls over your shoulder and down your back. So you look at your back up shirt and does it match your shoes EVEN REMOTELY- no.
So after cleaning up the puke of the back of your shirt as well as you can, it's on to the poop- a-thon. Where not once, not twice, but three times you change a diaper just to have her look at you, smile sweetly, and drop another round of poop that sends you flying toward the changing table, arms extended with, handling the baby as you would a semi-nuclear weapon. (enter voice over: That's right folks, this kiddo can fully level any third world nation, but wait, there's more....).
So after changing your third Weapon of Mass Destruction, you finally settle down to play, and she pulls out the last stop, the Machine Gun Puke. Where it comes out just a little bit at a time as she is turning her head, to maximize the area that gets hit. Which includes your pants. Nice.
And just when you think it's over, she is finally settled down for her nap, then you realize that you forgot her milk at home and have to go back and get it. But hey, at least you get to change your shirt.
6 comments:
Just so you know - puke, when it hits a marker board will erase the math problem I am explaining to Carly & Wes.
Not the best eraser, but it was effective.
Not sure what is worse - your day or Perri's postscript! (shudder)
I do NOT miss those days!
Ugh and Double UGH!! We've had to use the carpet cleaner in 5 different places in our house over the last 24 hours because of puking. This is definitely not the fun part about raising kids. 8^(
Okay, I am giggling but not at you. I have been in that situation so many times I wouldn't know where to begin.
Oh, wait, I would! One time when Becca was about 3 months old I went to visit a friend at the hospital who just had her baby. Becca had on a long-sleeve onesie. The poo oozed out her sleeves. Yes you read that right. Her sleeves.
And another time I went to pick dh up at the airport and she pooed in her car seat. Filling it with a yellow puddle.
Those were the days. Now I just have mouthy preteens. I am not sure which is better. LOL
Good times always with Miss Sophie!!!
I remember wearing a white shirt to church one evening and Jess was able to eat finger foods. She was eating fruit loops and then choked on one while drinking milk. Needless to say my white shirt was very colorful afterward.
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